You can’t spell disturbance without u & i

sometimes i wonder what really attracts people to me, is it looks? my personality? perhaps my past is interesting enough to keep people at bay

i’m nervous and throwing up because it’s a day before i turn 18 and two things happened before i remembered my past will be left behind in the eyes of the law: i?m a person inside and outside the internet. what people see in me is different from what they see

you get a chance while i’m over here nervous about touching hands, what’s my appeal? am i something to ruin again? am i just that kind of person? why can i not say i love you in a sense that you are my best friend, not in a sense that doesn’t make sense. did i accidentally lead you on? am i a monster? 

it’s only an hour or two before i turn to an adult. all i want is some alone time from my life and a couple of chances to rewrite everything i’ve ever done.