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How to Handle a Delicate Situation

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I must attend a funeral this weekend. One particular cousin will definitely attend, although nobody really wants them to. No matter the event, this person loudly brings up their beliefs about Flat Earth Science (their term, not mine), the "stupidity of liberals" (again, their words), and other beliefs I won't mention here. A few years ago, they nearly caused a fight at the wake for a gay relative (I won't repeat what he said), so I am one of many trying to think of strategies that would mitigate his disruptive presence.

To be clear, some have tried to dissuade him from coming, but I know that won't work. If anything, it'll give my loud and highly inappropriate cousin even greater reason to say more outrageous things.

How would you deal with such a person so that no friction is created at a time when solemn peace is required?

~RWARwriter (Red, White and Real)

Ngl, I would definitely give them another time. Have everyone else come on time and tell him in particular to come later. Obviously don't give him the attention he so desperately craves but at least everyone else has some time to grieve. 

If anything I pretty sure the NOK, can speak with the funeral director and inform them of their issue with this in particular individual and allow certain ppl in the chapel before the doors open for everyone. 

💋 Jamz 💋
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i feel like the only thing you can do is say "not the time." like nothing else, just always "not the time" or "not now." if they absolutely must be in the same space as everyone else, this phrase feels like it gives them nothing to argue back against. you aren't outright saying you disagree, which always makes these people feel the need to fight. just "not the time." because it's not the time, simple as 

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All:

It turned out well, but not without tense moments. There was an attempt by family members who intercepted him in the church vestibule to urge his silence, but it failed. There was an appeal by the father of the deceased to let his family grieve in peace, but it failed. We tried ignoring the problem relative, we tried telling him church was not the place, and we even tried guiding him away from the immediate family, but all of it failed. Ultimately, three disgusted family members physically escorted him out of the church. Five or so minutes later, they returned with him in tow, but he was sweating profusely. 

I do not know what they said to him, but whatever it was, it kept him quiet through the remainder of the church service, the burial, and most of the repast. And when he did speak inappropriately there, it was followed by an immediate "I'm sorry" and uncharacteristic sheepishness. I have no idea what they said or did to change his behavior so quickly. I only know that it worked.

~RWARwriter (Red, White and Real)

@RWARwriter Thank you, I was hoping for an update! Sounds like somebody was quite persuasive👀 I’d love to have been a fly on the wall😅 Glad it generally worked out fine!

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