does anyone have tips on how to make irl friends? i seriously dont have any. and im all done with highschool so i just cant think of any other opportunities to find friends. its rough. im too shy to put myself out there but too lonely to keep staying in my room. pls help
in the same boat where im not sure how to make friends, but for social interaction and to get myself out the house i do try to attend local events that are held in my city. my library often plans activities, maybe you can see if yours does too? best of luck to you. you've got this ᕙ( ￣ ▽￣ )ᕗ
tysm for the kind words. ill prolly check my library to see if theres events there
idk how to strike a convo irl as well so i'm not much of a help lol. ppl i talk to are either in my class in uni or someone i met online. ppl in my city are weird af & all the events are for ppl much older than me & with different interests, so honestly i'm better off solely talking to everyone online. oh, one advice to make connections more easy - maybe sign up for some classes and befriend someone there
@Eva ॐ i start college soon, so im hoping to make friends there. if not, ig im fucked :(
@hikikomoricutie ur gonna do good! just be out there, look at how ppl are communicating and kinda do the same thing. another important thing is to not get desperate when someone doesn't seem to want to talk to u, they're not the last person in the world and def not the best thing out there, so just search search search! good luck :**
Im really shy too but when it comes to socialising I ‘dissociate’ from that state of mind if that makes sense. I turn my mind off for a bit, stop thinking and just go and talk to people about random shit like the weather or clothes or directions or whatever js relevant in the moment. Most people won’t even notice the things you’re worried about them noticing, some people may think you’re friendly (stick w them), some people give you weird looks (watch them like it’s an experiment and learn, apply what you learn to improve yourself). Just remember that most people you see are just people like you. They’re not above or below you. Their opinions truly won’t matter and one day you’ll go to many different places and they’ll have their own lives to worry about rather than thinking about you. People have their own issues, their own life experiences just like you so it’s best not to assume that someone is thinking the worst about you :>> I recently reconnected with an old classmate of mine through Instagram and now we’re going to have a reunion soon. Im also going to a comic con in my area to connect with other people like me. Find people with similar interests:>>
@Omnom this is helpful thank you <3
I'm autistic so I also hella struggle but I got some tips
Figuring out local events at either local stores relating to your interests or at libraries can help you find like-minded people. If you don't live somewhere walkable or don't have a car it may be best to start joining Discord servers for your interests.
The way I managed to find people is just being very open about my interests, I've managed to befriend a lot of my co-worker's by doing this, I very frequently wear accessories with things I'm interested in and they are great conversation starters with people, It's a great silent signal that you two share interests without having to guess if you both are into it.
@BootlegFriend this might sound silly but i got heavily cyberbullied on discord a few years ago and using it is kinda scary and traumatizing now but i see where youre coming from! ill try the accessory thing definitely
@BootlegFriend seconding local events. I went to my first hardcore show alone and now I know some people casually enough to where I recognize them and can say a simple hey or something. Libraries are great, farmers and makers markets are great. My city has a tabletop gaming community that I've been meaning to check out. My city is neither big nor walkable, but I'm still able to find stuff that interests me enough to check it out!
🔆Sol🔆
i woldnt rlly reccommend this but ive seen people on dating apps just looking for friends!! <3 before i met my bf i went on a date with a guy and we're close friends now even tho it didnt work out!!
@tuulistarxo hmm ive tried that and it didnt work out so well but thanks
Maybe theres something like an anime club nearby? :0
I've never been super popular or great at making lots of friends, but I found that once I was no longer in college being surrounded by people that were more like me (in school, around my age, etc) it got harder. I still made friends at my job, but it really only happened once there was an influx of recent college graduates. When that job went away, it got harder again, as my next jobs were a more varied group of people, including plenty of middle-aged parents. Being childfree, parents are hard to make friends with because of their kids' schedules. It's been around 10 years since I last made an IRL friend.
So I guess what I'm saying is: I'd like to know also.
What Deryck said...
so listen i used to have difficulty making friends too. tbh idk if im gonna be really helpful im not good at giving advice? what i did is delude myself. you need to be delusional. i am that girl. i am powerful and attractive. i love everyone and everyone loves me. my haters are immature because hating anyone is immature, but it's not that big of a deal to be immature, we're teens, of course we're immature. we'll grow up some day. if you delude yourself enough you'll believe it and if you're confident and nice people will like you, then you just need to wait till you get seats in class and try to find ANY common ground with the people you sit next to. even if it's just that you both hate school. maybe try to compliment them, but don't lie in the compliment because people can always tell, try to find something you genuinely like even a little bit about them. it'll be hard at first, you might feel like you're awkward and fucking up the conversation and that might discourage you. but trust me, no one cares as much as you think they do. everyone is too self conscious about themselves to even notice you fucking up. you don't hate anyone for being awkward so they don't hate you and if they do they're being really immature cuz that's weird. people might make fun of you. again that's really immature, and also people will shit on you for anything, take it from me. in the city i used to live in, people made fun of me for being a nerd or being gross or being weird or whatever. i moved and people started making fun of me for being mean and self centered that's literally the exact opposite. they will make fun of you for anything because their life is boring and they want entertainment, again i would know. don't be friends with people you don't like because it'll drive you crazy and no one will even care about how many friends you have, in fact people rarely notice how big your circle is. i would recommend being friends with cool people, not the preppy people because when you get in the cool circle you realize no one even likes them anyway, they're just the weird kids but blonde. if ur friends with cool people it gives you an entrance and people will think you're cool by hanging out with them. but also you do get a certain kind of positive reputation if you hang out with whoever you like and you don't gaf about what people say and you love all your haters and you're confident. and i MUST emphasize, do not get mad at your haters or mean kids. they'll tell on you and say they weren't even doing anything so it's not really worth it and also it makes you look bad. for people to like you, you need to be patient.
yes you might be shy but at least like sheepishly speak up. eventually if you do it scared, you realize no one is as mean as you think they are and you start to get used to it and be less shy. just try your best please i know it's hard but seriously, i used to be in the same boat and gaining more confidence and having friends has seriously improved my life like SERIOUSLY.
sekai de ichiban ohimesama
Ok so I'm not that good at explaining but I used to have like 2 friends and now I have a rlly big friend group so I hope to help-
The main advice for meeting new people id say is to find something you GENUINELY like about the person, aesthetic, clothes, maybe pins.. and compliment them! They will usually thank you so then you ask about it, how did you get the idea? Where did you get that? Stuff like that, then you try relate "I've always wanted to try that!" "Omg I've heard that place is rlly cool!!" From then if you vibe eith them and you can have a small conversation, ask to follow them on something or get a form of contact from them
If you want a lot of friends, try connect with someone who has a large friend group- but that can be suuuper nerve-wracking, meeting so many new people.
Of course, making new friends is rlly hard so I suggest to start with going to public events and trying to get out of the house, trying to get used to the feeling of exposure out of your comfort zone.
I'm sorry I'm not too great at explaining but I hope that it all works for you and pls don't surround yourself eith toxic people, the best of luck!!
Ugh, I'm in the same boat 100%. My advice could work, but if you're shy we might run into the same problem. :,) I stay really up to date on the events going on in my community (mostly activism/mutual aid related stuff since that's what I'm interested in) and go to as many as I can! You'll find a big group of people who have a shared interest with you! Now my issue is that I can muster up the courage to GO to the event... but not to talk to anyone. Sometimes people will see you alone and come talk to you tho!
For activism/mutual aid events (liberal/leftist, idk about conservative ones) I would search for the local chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America or Party For Socialism & Liberation and then go thru their following/followers to find local groups that align with what you're looking for! (This isn't me endorsing either group, they're just both very well connected.)
For non political stuff, check your local library's instagram and website, and search "[your city] events" on Instagram to try and find a page that just posts events and stuff going on near you!
Hope some of this helped, it's so rough out here when you're so shy. :( I wish you so much luck!!!
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