30 seconds until the world's end

It was so sudden. There was so much light and noise in the room around us that it felt disconcerting, hard to believe and difficult to imagine; well, many things can happen in a matter of minutes, and, in that case, seconds. Dear diary, let's not talk about today's feelings, for once. 

Actually, I don't have a pen, nor my phone is here. Fate, the divinity I so much believe in, please keep the thoughts of mine that can no longer be written down. 

I have always wondered what --"30 seconds!"-- he wanted to say before going to another country. Our friendship was my special treasure, every day felt like a different story, as if the bond we shared was the whole purpose of our existence; if it weren't for him, I would have never believed in... But... But why did you leave, right after promising me you would tell something important?

I remember how, back when --"20 seconds!"-- I was a kid, people would only look at me with pity. I hated them for that. Being mute wasn't my personality... I mean, everyone had some sort of disability, so why was I the only one they looked down on? Of course I disliked being like this; how much I prayed to talk, to whisper, to sing my favorite lullabies, to shout at the world my feelings!

Still... I loved --"10 seconds!"-- being like this.

I loved the feeling of being someone... special, just like grandma told me.

I loved how I got all the raccons in my town to like me. They never needed to hear my voice to trust me.

I loved that, despite my voice not being known by the world, my piano for sure was.

I loved drawing the birds while listening to their melodies.

I loved riding my bicycle.

I loved writing and how much I did that.

I loved going to my cousin's house just to eat Kanelbulle.

I loved

I.. I loved