like not in a mean way of pushing people away and stuff, more like not being able to actually keep up with them!!
I always feel so bad when my friends ask me why I dont text them back and stuff . I never mean to ghost them or seem like im not interested in interaction, I just cant talk for a long time and have this crippling fear they may be talking to me out of pjty, which causes me to slowly isolate myself eventually
I think of myself as so annoying that everytime someone wants to hang out with me my mind goes "do them a favor and dont punish them with your presence for their existence"
am I too neurodivergent to appreciate all the love around me or is this just a reaction to childhood socialbullying
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rhythmheaven
I dont think I feel worthy of all the love and care I recieve from my social circles
am I ungrateful for not knowing how to recognize and love something so many people crave
qwails
YOU GET IT!!!
I struggle a lot to make new friends and actually keep them because I'm the type of person who needs other people to text me first before I say anything... but I'm pretty sure it just comes across as me not wanting to talk... but I love talking... so it's just counterproductive... (〒▽〒)
I'M ALSO TERRIBLE AT KEEPING CONVERSATIONS GOING!!! AHHH!!! I just wanna rip all my teeth out thinking about it!! I feel so bad cause I feel like the other person is doing all the work to keep the friendship going.
I too have the same fears... Lots of experiences from my childhood turned me into a shy person who doesn't share unless somebody asks. I always feel like a stupid dog pawing at my friends pant legs while they're busy when I update them about my life unprompted. Like gosh.. here's what I'm doing, I guess. Hope you don't mind knowing. Don't kick me outside pls.
I used to believe I was the most embarrassing person on earth so I legit would only communicate with reactions for a period of time JUST to avoid saying something humiliating... like what? I don't even know. But the real ones keep mining for the gem that is ur personality. TRUST!
X
Self-rejection is bad mkayyyyy
Just talk to them, if they really didn't like you, they would make it clear! ;P
People who don't like you don't talk to you or agree to ever hang out with you.