im getting worse again. im just so tired. im too tired to take care of myself. i'm tired enough that taking care of myself is no longer a priority---in fact, taking care of myself takes enough energy that the priority is to neglect myself. purposefully? i can't tell anymore. i don't even know how to talk to people anymore. i'm tired and nauseated all the time. i can't eat anything because anything is too much. i can't do nothing because doing nothing means gaining weight---but if i don't eat anything i can't gain anything. it's a hellish cycle of relapse relax relapse relax relapse relax. i wish i could escape my body where i'm stuck in this circular motion of hurting and hating the hurt and healing and hating the healing. i want someone to pull me out of it but i don't know how to ask anyone for help.
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selfishly_h0llow
feeling this way too much right now, cant even get therapy but i doubt that would help at this point, it sounds kinda pathetic but i want someone to come along and change my life. just sitting around getting worse though
i get u. sumday ur gna find that person but ur gna find that its less them changing ur life and more them changing u enough 2 change ur life urself. nd idk who that is 4 me, bc its happened b4 and then they left nd i wuz left lower than when i started, but it iz gonna happen sumday 4 the both of us. js hang on until u see the day where u wake up & u think maybe evrythings ok.
by xxmaxamillionairexx; ; Report
☆°•TRUTH•°☆
Thats why you use opioids, cocaine, Xanax or any other upper can do! Energy is artificial and is snortable! Future wins but past needs stuff we cannot give.
thats not even artificial energy thats just making yourself too stupid to process anything
by КРИПТИД; ; Report
Exactly, if you dumb yourself down feeling sad would be too far away to realize, but then you need more and more and you have less and less money until your homeless or a criminal but mean if you add another 5 months before the high is gone and its all bad youve atleast lived long enough to maybe find something to live for
by ☆°•TRUTH•°☆; ; Report
КРИПТИД
honestly at this point i dont think there is any real "help", like sure i can go to therapy and pay someone to hack my emotional network, but that doesnt change that we feel like this for a reason to begin with.
truth nuke
by xxmaxamillionairexx; ; Report