Idk how but i sometimes make my boyfriend upset and he jst goes quiet and it makes everything really awkward and it sucks too because its literally right after were like laughing and having a good time like helloooo?? And we talked abt this like to say "hey this bothered me" when it happens but instead you can jst suddenly notice a random change in the air and it's like oh hes upset and thats it. And I don't want to be like hey are u mad at me cus he jst makes it so awkward still and also I really dont want to get in a argument and its better to let him cool down. like broooyhwhshshdjs I hate when this happens and I get so much anxiety and ive tried to tell him bro trust me like I sometimes say things and I dont notice they're mean but if u tell me hey this was rude ill correct my actions and apologize trust me but if u jst stay quiet and scroll on reels as I sit there... thats not helping. Or if I act normal he replies to me dry. It makes me so frustrated and we had this conversation clearing this air last month and it isnt fixed. I dont want to bother and spend my energy telling him to tell me what I did wrong & I dont like when u do this and him jst say "u were being rude" thats what happened last time and ill say the same thing as last time. And litterally what happened tdy that made him quiet was cus j realized what I was gonna say was kinda mean so I told him im not going to tell him. But that made him upset? I might just seem stupid but idk i try to be as considerate as I can but it feels like I fail. And I am truly apologetic when I find out what I said was rude I truly do I dont want the things I say to cause harm. Like what do I do??
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Rainie Rawr [⚢]
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I used to kinda act the way he does because I was afraid that speaking my discomfort would instigate arguments, and it honestly did but that was just my own situation lol
I think the most simple answer is just make him feel as safe as possible. reassure him as many times as he needs that his feelings won't be judged. it may take time, but showing patience will help a long way. trust really is key. perhaps you can ask him to give a set of boundaries so you can prevent upsetting him in the future
otherwise if things persist like this, it could cause resentment from both sides and by then you'd probably be better off apart
Sigh I know and i have countless times given him reassurance and told him its okay. We talked about our boundaries first thing when we got together and when we found there were others to set we would talk about it immediately when we could like the last time we talked about him getting quiet and me being mean so I thought the problem would be fixed but it really didn't and like idk I think like be fr were grown do we rlly need to be told multiple times? And I wouldn't want to break up and ik he wouldn't either.
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JTB1107 XD
sometimes its best to just leave it be yk