So my current partner, I had gone through his phone a couple months ago (yes I know, I shouldn't have and it's not healthy if you can't trust your partner and the way my past relationships went are no excuse for it) and I found a lot of stuff that made me really uncomfortable.
By the way, before we got together he had told me he doesn't like watching p*rn.
He had telegram which was obviously just being used for p*rn. Had a lot of photos in his hidden folder of random n*des, most just from social media. Had a fake tiktok, instagram and threads account (keep in mind he told me he doesn't have threads) all just for looking at women who post basically their entire bodies on social media. He was also in a discord channel that was full of p*rn and n*des. His gmail was all subscriptions to only fans and 2 other sites tat were for the same thing. His google photos (which he once told me not to go through because it's apparently just embarrassing photos of himself) was also full of n*des and finally his google drive was full of p*rn he had downloaded. When I brought it up to him he got all defensive at first trying to pretend he had no idea what I was on about then it went from that to him deleting social media and giving me his phone so that he "can't do it anymore" then started self harming with his keys. I had also found a recently saved photo of his ex who he later admitted he missed her in the moment that he saved that photo. I still stayed with him and am still with him. He promised never to do any of that again and we had a talk about my boundaries. Then a couple days ago I saw that he had started liking "thirst traps" on tiktok again. I haven't brought it up to him as I already have so many times that it just seems like there's no use in it anymore. Will this ever stop? Will he ever stop looking at other women? It's just so frustrating as I thought he was different.
Comments
Displaying 4 of 4 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
lulu.mp3
As a married woman, I would be absolutely disgusted if my husband hid stuff like that from me, and I probably would divorce him right then and there. The fact that you felt the urge to check your boyfriend's phone should be a red flag by itself. You had a gut feeling that something was not right and unfortunately was correct. Your boyfriend clearly has a problem, like @Dookie mentioned, and the fact that he is unwilling to stop shows you his true priorities. He sees women as objects and has no desire to take the relationship seriously. You must give him an ultimatum where he quits engaging with that kind of content all together, or the relationship is over. You cannot keep giving him chances that he frankly does not deserve.
Well I did give him that ultimatum when I first found everything on his phone but the ultimatum was more on the p*rn side of things rather than just looking at girls occasionally on social media. My problem is I find it extremely hard to leave people when I want to and/or should. The amount of times i've stayed with someone after they have done much worse than this is too many to count so I kind of just feel like i'm stuck in a relationship where I feel unwanted, not in the way he doesn't want me but more in the way he wants someone that he'll only see on social media a little more than me if that makes sense. We also have constant arguments just due to miscommunication and misunderstandings, I just think we're not right for each other because we just don't seem to get each other. Like as much as I want the relationship to work out i'm worried it just won't.
by Cinnamon_pigeon; ; Report
You absolutely deserve better and are right when you say that you are not right for each other. He sounds like such a bottom of the barrel POS and kind of reminds me of a past relationship of my own. I used to date a guy who had a second Twitter account solely for the purpose of looking at sexualized fan art of fictional characters. Half were underage. Sure, they were not real people, but the fact that he purposely would do this and proudly show it off to me was so gross looking back on it. I should have broken up with him right then but didn't and was so happy when I finally left him. The fact that you have gone through so much worse in previous relations breaks my heart because you seem like such a good-hearted girl who got stuck with the wrong people. I promise that not every guy is like this, and since you are so young, you have so much time to find the right person. If you would like to chat more, please feel free to message me! I'm happy to listen.
by lulu.mp3; ; Report
Dookie
He must have some sort of porn addiction or somethin