Sometimes i feel i failed my little sister.
While she was younger i had hard time with my mental health, i couldn't get out of bed or do anything on my own. She always wanted to play with me or spend time with me but i was too busy rotting in my bed.
We are close, we have 4yrs age gap but we are so different. I love anime, games, gacha, stuff like that while she makes lip sync videos, makeup, boy drama and those things.
Today we had a fight how she wants to have tiktok bc everybody in her friend group has it i said no because she already knows stuff she shouldnt know which she learned on snapchat spot light, such as Onlyf*ns, insecurities about hip dips?? She knows how to do makeup better than me but she uses so much at her age.
So that was my reason, she was pissed and downloaded tiktok in secret but i found out, she didnt want to delete it so i told her to give me her phone since she doesnt want to listen. She got all bratty with me so i had to take her phone forcefully, she then started hitting me, pulling my hair hardly and its still falling out, my nail broke. I didnt hit her ONCE. I didnt lay a finger on her so she went to the room, locked her self up. Since we share the room I'm sleeping on the couch tonight ig.
And i keep crying because i feel like a shitty older sister, i couldve talk to her gently but im such a stupid fucking bitch. I really dont know what to do anymore
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discmaan_
I’m really glad to hear from your update that you two are doing better now. I just wanted to say that reading this, I don’t see a “bad older sister” at all. I see someone who was struggling with their own mental health and is now trying their best to protect and support their little sister.
Please don’t punish yourself for the time when you were not okay. You weren’t choosing to ignore her or not love her; you were dealing with something heavy that made even basic things difficult. The fact that you still remember those moments and feel sad about them shows how much you care about her.
About the fight, I think both of you were coming from a place of frustration. You were worried because she is being exposed to things that can be harmful at her age, and she probably felt like you were controlling her or keeping her away from what her friends have. That doesn’t mean either of you stopped loving each other. Siblings can have really intense fights, especially when there is a protective dynamic involved.
I do want to say though: it’s not okay that she hurt you physically. Being upset is normal, but hitting, pulling hair, or hurting someone is not an acceptable way to express it. When things calm down, it might be worth talking about that part too, not to punish her, but so both of you can learn healthier ways to handle conflict.
Also, please remember that you are her sister, not her parent. You can guide her, protect her, and be there for her, but you cannot control every choice she makes or protect her from everything. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep an open conversation so she feels safe coming to you.
From what you wrote, it sounds like you love her a lot. A person who didn’t care wouldn’t be crying and worrying about whether they failed her. I hope you’re both able to keep rebuilding that bond, because it’s clear there is a lot of love between you two. ^‿^
AL<3
it can be really hard to get younger siblings to listen sometimes, don't blame ur self too much, u did the right thing not letting her have tiktok. Also it might be helpful to have conversations with her about the things she sees online, just to help her understand why some ppl say certain things and maybe teach her why its important to stay away from certain types of content.
luvfromlaura
We good now
me alegro, no por eso eres una mala hermana mayor, a veces todos cometemos errores. yo tengo una hermana pequeña y le saco 8 años, y a veces me cae bastante mal, nunca juego con ella. a mí no me gustan mucho los niños pequeños, o al menos ahora; con esto me refiero a que me gustaría que mi hermana fuera más cercana a mi edad, yo tengo 14, entonces con que tuviera unos 10 o más estaría bien. no te sientas mal por eso, todos nos enfadamos con nuestros hermanos. yo me considero mala hermana mayor, pero la verdad no me afecta.
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