why is talking 2 new ppl so hard :L
like i broke up w my ex over two && a half years ago && i still haven't even had a talking stage with anyone. im completely over him &7 i was the one who ended things because i both fell out of love && felt like he was mistreating me so it's not even like im still caught up on him or anything. we ended pretty amicably from my perspective; im not afraid of getting into another relationship or afraid of things ending badly again. i literally just cant find anyone.
two days ago my mom asked me if ive thought about getting into another relationship && i just said no because i didnt feel like explaining myself, && then she was like "but why, if you can meet someone?"
like, mom, im ugly asf. i know that she can't see that because im her daughter && everything, but its the truth. im fat, have acne, have a dark mustache that does go away, && on top of that i chopped all my hair off because it was unhealthy, now im in the awkward grow out stage where nothing looks good. i was ugly even before i cut my hair
but anyway, since breaking up with him, i have had a crush on at least one guy, i guess. i met him my freshman year of college. thing is, he had this big crush on this girl && they had a talking stage until like mid second semester because he had 2 drop out. i still talk 2 him && we hung out recently w/ two mutual friends but hes constantly talking about her, especially when its just me && him alone
i understand that he doesnt know how i feel about him or anything && its valid for him 2 miss being with her but like,, it just hurts so much. the only guy that i actually have had feelings for since my breakup is painfully in love with someone who doesn't even like him anymore && i just have 2 stand by his side && pretend like im just a good friend 2 him
i just wish i had someone who saw me && reciprocated my feelings for them. i have 2 watch all my gfs start talking 2 guys && fall in love while ive been stuck in the same place for TWO YEARS
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da
i understand how you feel - im in a similar situation as you, including the crush that doesn't like you back part and all! only that i think im doomed since in my situation I'm a lesbian and it's twice as hard to find girls that like girls and aren't just taking your words as being very friendly..
I think if you have love to offer, it will come soon. I'm not sure why would you call yourself ugly and the reasons you give are just normal human descriptions and not ugly descriptors... i think it's funny that all the traits you described are the ones that endear me the most about my current girl crush..! down to the moustache and short hair lol.. alongside that, if your profile photo is you you're very far from ugly!
and lastly I assure you appearance doesn't have anything to do with love. if someone ends up loving you for real, things you think are "ugly" about you they won't even think about in the first place...
I wish I could give you reassurance and to tell you how to go forward, as I'm struggling with the same thing as I told you... but for now, I've been trying to prioritise loving myself before someone will be able to love me. I'm sure you'll find the one and you'll just sometimes think back about how you lamented not being able to fall in love and laugh about it some day!
regardless of how your past relationship went, you were loved either way, and if you really were "unlovable" that wouldn't have happened...!
I hope you can feel better soon (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡