God was to busy refilling someone’s hairspray

So, I have an addiction. Some do, some don’t. Im not going to say what it is. Anyway,, i really want to over come it, so when I was a Christian, I’m an atheist now, i prayed and prayed to get better. The hours just got longer and the list got bigger. The ‘today’ list was the longer than I could imagine, but i kept praying. Didn’t work because he was ti busy refilling someone hairspray. Now please don’t come in the comments and say ‘he works his ways in different ways’. When my grandpa was sick, I was praying and praying for him to get better. A day before he died, I fuckass bible verse on our car. What the hell is that supposed to do. Magical make him better? I thought he was getting better because he looked much better from when I first saw him. The next day?, he was dead. On my birthday. It’s been 2 years and I still miss him. I regret not spending a lot of time with him in the hospital. I still remember walking past his closed door and seeing the dove on his door. The chruch and how I was trying not to cry. How my dad said ‘I miss you dad’. 2 years with him gone and I’m still crying about him.