i hate being trans

ive randomly been getting way more annoyed at having titties. Ive always had issues with having body parts that people would be sexually attracted to in the way they’d see me as a woman, since I’m trans and have sexual trauma, but it’s been worse recently. I feel violated. I think it’s because I’ve been walking around / existing shirtless in my house so I have my stupid bra in my face all of the time. Im just making a blog about this because I’m going to manifest them away soon (yes I manifest it’s ez) but I want to get my emotions out. I feel terrible. I hate not having a flat chest. It isn’t even just connected to my gender it’s also my sexual trauma, I feel so violated having these things I never asked for on my body. I’m a man with a uterus and breasts and the worst part is my body is so masculine aside from that. I have rectangular shoulders, I’m really lean, but I still have these stupid things on my chest. I despise them. I have fought so hard to be a man, to not be a sexual object, but my body tries to make me one. I try to make myself happier by seeing my bra as the back brace Viktor has but that only really works when I’m not actually looking at my chest. I think I’m going to buy a binder against my parent’s wishes because I’m going to do bad things to myself if I don’t get these stupid things off of me. My biology is cursed by god, by my parents, and I hate them for it. fuck my body.