bpd is genuinely unbearable sometimes. Not even sometimes actually MOST of the times. genuinely EVERYTHING has been ticking me off and causing me to go CRAY CRAY. I’ve learned to be really good about grounding myself and keeping myself from doing crazy shit when i split or lose my mind but sometimes genuinely like UGHHH. Like i’m sitting here with my life ruined over nothing and i’m all upset and crying and mad and grumpy and upset and nothing. I don’t want to feel utter betrayal over minor small not even existing mistakes anymore. I don’t want to feel things so extremely anymore and it genuinely devastates me that this is just the way i am. Like i CANT be normal. Things are the way they are and i will constantly be at war in my head constantly. I’m so back and forth every few seconds and it gets physically exhausting. AND even more exhausting that i have to make sure to keep it to myself and not freak the fuck outttt… i’m pretty well behaved with my bpd (ew wording) like i’m not the type to do crazy things or be all bitchy or yell and scream and cry or passive agressive or do things i’ll regret ANYMORE.. not these things anymore….. like i’ve put a lot of work into trying to keep myself from hurting others because of my bpd. especially because of the people who have hurt me in the past and have excused it with their own mental illness. It’s just not fair to someone. i haven’t let myself be a crazy bitch since THE INCIDENT…. which was 8 ish months ago…
besides that I am currently just UPSET and betrayed right now.. and i’m definitely going to just sleep it off and probably forget abut it in an hour.. I get triggered easy LOL…
Sorry to my bf also.. he has to deal w me all the time luv ya.. i think he’s active on friendrewind rn if ur reading this…
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samurai
hi, fellow bpd'er here. definitely is insanely hard to feel an entire spectrum of emotions all at once. i was doing well but since some recent events occurred im beginning to have "episodes" (for lack of a better word) more often now. very frustrating to regress. :( i do hope whatever situation ur in eases up! good luck