i hate secrets but i think i have to keep this one

i had a dream. except, it was weird. not weird in scary, just, so vividly beautiful it scares me, kinda. but it still brings me comfort. before i tell the actual dream, I'm gonna tell you about my friend. More like BESITEEEE. anywho, we'll call her AD, because that's her initials. In the previous grade, AD used to like this guy whose codename was Celery-- we have a codename for everyone in the grade basically-- but later lost feelings for him now. she hasn't had feelings for him in months, and doesn't see him as a love interest at all anymore. We have a codename for him because I LOVED (and still do) to bug her about it all the time. it annoys her, but it's nothing serious and she says it's fine if I keep doing it.

Anywayss, Celery is in a different class, mind you, just a little add on feature. Okay, now, to the dream.

Four poles and a strange, almost spiderweb/net type of plastic shaped structure weaved between the poles. I lay down on one of them at around a 40 degree angle with my head facing upwards. Celery was sitting near me to my right, his hips at my head level but to the side of me. I could slightly see his jaw from the corner of my eye, but I know it was him. By the haircut I think. We were chatting.

I don't remember what, but it was calming. So calming. And it just felt perfect. And in that dream, it was perfect. We laughed, I'm guessing joked, sat in silence as the sun beamed on our skin but we didn't get hot. We just existed side by side and it was beautiful.

And now in the hallways I refuse to look his way because I'm scared I won't look away. And now I don't know what to do, because it's awkward now.

Do I tell AD? I probably should, but it's so WEIRD having a crush on someone who your bestie used to like. Now I know if I tell her, she wouldn't really care anyways because she makes boundries very well and what is fine to talk about and bring up. I know she will not freak out or anything if I tell her, but I'm still scared.

And now I'm kinda stuck. I want to tell her but should I? It's so awkward and weird and AUGHHHH

I'm keeping it a secret from her for now and yapping about it online, but I really need to find a better solution on what I should do, because secrets aren't my thing.

Also, I'll try and draw out the general mood/vibe and how the whole pole and web structure thing was so you can get a better visual image.

Anywho, bai bai my lovelies,

#luffie luffie muffin