im distancing myself from the only friend i have

okay so this isnt too big of a problem because im manifesting one billion boyfriends and a golden bugatti but it is very annoying

my friend is STILL FRIENDS with her abuser. its pissing me off. we've talked about it before and she says that she's going to (maybe) leave him in s5, but thats a big while away. now i understand still being friends with your abusers somewhat, because when i was getting gaslit and 'abused' kind of by my kind-of-ex i stayed with him for like 2-3 months. it has been a full year after the abuse to my friend happened and she's still friends with him. 

now i understand it'll be hard for her to let go. theyre in a lot of the same classes so, up until s5, they might still need to maintain some form of relationship to stop things from being awkward. but this girl goes out of her way to talk to her ABUSER. i think this is stupid as fuck. it hasnt been break yet so she might try and interact with me more but i dont really know nor do i have hope. 

i guess the npd in me is annoyed at being pushed aside for a fucking abuser. being chosen over one. i know its probably temporary but still. 

ive began to only talk to her when fatfucksexualassaulter1000 isnt around and i actively move away from her when he is. i dont blame her for him being around i guesss . ... but im still mad that he's near us. he needs to be gone. i am so clearly better than him (I DONT FUCKING TOUCH PEOPLE. THAT ALREADY MAKES ME BETTER THAN HIM.) but the friend im talking about left me in the canteen anyways so fuck her too i guess. honestly i dont think i like either of them anymore but if my friend would lock in we could be fine again. im tired of all of this bullshit and you emotional people working with those emotions and irrational chemicals instead of your fucking LOGIC. KILL EVERYONE WHO DOES YOU WRONG WITH LASERS.

i might be really bitchy and petty for doing what im doing but whatever. i fucking hate that guy. i dont care about emotions i care about him being GONEEEEEEE