im sry

Its all my fault ♡ I h8 myself and I h8 my head drag me out the mother fucking hell of a earth I hate overthinking everything I h8 thst I act like im ok while maggots eat me from the outside I hate how easy I get mad I h8 how quickly I get attached I hate how my body looks I hate thst I cant start basic communication and come to here to socialize even though it makes me sick to have to be expected to come bsck and talk please please PLEASE go away fhcking inner thoughts its lkke my progress never happened please just leave me alone let me cope I already tried getting rid of all my online friends and I came back here and still kept 2 my progress is nth I kept talking to more and more and more and its fuckijg with my head just ghost me or smt plz it wont hurt after a bit who cares if I harm myself over it anyways yall aren't in my life you shouldn't matter I shouldn't matter I hate that I matter I wanna be invisible I want to be left alone im just UGH fucking needy or smt god i wanna end it all I hate this dojt expect a reply Im over with this bs give me back my old life I wish I could just be bring of death or before they started getting violent its all my fault, its all my fault, ITS ALL MY FAULT!! I hate this miserable fucking life i live and I hate that I cant leave jt easy! Its dumb asf why couldnt 7 pills just swing it over then now I retreat to cutting the inner and it still doesnt work!!! No one here loves me and im always a motherfucking number 3. A THREE. NOT A 2. NOT A ONE. A FUCKING 3-5 OF A FAVORITE PERSON. Well you know who I actually care for? A fucking pet. But no, not even a cat would love me fully. At least she gets I like getting scratched on the inner wrist. My mom doesnt support me, my dad is fucked in th3 head, my older brother is a sociopath, and my little brother is already dug is hole into the life of depression. Hes 11 and all he does it drown it out and hide. I hste this. Get me out this hell before I drown. I feel weak. I hate myself. Why cant I just be loved. I cant see myself past next year. I eas supposed to die a year ago. Fucking free me. No one would cry without the pity next to it. The gifts. The bragging thst they had a dead friend. No one misses you until your gone. Well I miss my life. I miss my will to live. I miss not getting punched in the face with meaningless crisis's and my brother being a fuck head. I cant even blame him anymore. It's not his fault I cry not his fault im like this. I just wanna watch from above as they cower over my dead body like it'll mean anything when people stop pitying. Live with the pain. Im fucking pathetic. All I get to my pain is threats to be hospitalized and a "your dad was abused when he was a kid", "youve only lived 14 years you cant be that bad", "your dramatic", "ive been through this too", "I eanna die sometimes too" well idc anymore. If my dad's been through so much shouldn't he get the weight on my back. Im incapable of being a good human being and ive accepted it. I cant with myself. When will the cut be deep enough. Im locked away from the fucking meds and I cant do anything since im a senseless dick headed pussy. I hste my life. Leave me alone. Please. I dont need your pity I need your acceptance thst im too fsr gone for a fucking vent post to help me. It just makes me insecure. I hate this. I hate you. I hate me. My therapist was right. I cant like anyone else when I dont like myself. I hate this. Fuck my stupid pathetic life.