I think i've always known this but chose to forget it, since I don't want to sully the fact that I actually have friends that I enjoy being around, but 2 of my friends were over at my house today, and while we were hanging out, it put a lot of things into perspective.
Firstly, they were on their phones a lot, which is a bit of a silly thing to complain about, but it always makes me feel like they just dont give a shit about anything, which isn't a nice thing to feel during a hangout with friends.
Another flaw of theirs is how emotionally unavailable, and cold they are. Sometimes, I'll be talking about something that bothers me, presenting myself as vulnerable to them, and they'll just be completely indifferent, cold or just sarcastic, rejecting my attempt at a connection that isn't surface-level, but then again, this is probably a universal thing amongst most male friend groups, but it still pisses me the fuck off, since you're effectively refusing to actually connect with your friends by doing that, which is why I feel so alone, despite hanging out with them often.
I feel like we're just different people, which isn't a bad thing, but it does create a barrier of some kind. I'm quite sensitive, introverted and I care a lot about certain things, meanwhile my friends are quite sociable, they aren't as bothered by most things unlike me, and they're just not as sensitive as me with most things.
Anyway, the point im trying to make is, my friends are indifferent cold assholes who refuse to be vulnerable around each other emotionally, and im left feeling ostracized because of it.
P.S. sorry for the wall of text, I'm just pretty frustrated about all of this.
Comments
Displaying 2 of 2 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
Ludwig Müller
Bro, I had a similar situation, just with my mom. Unfortunately, if it doesn't sit right with you and they don't wanna talk about the problem, then there's no point staying with them anymore.
If they were more blunt, they'd have told you to fuck off already, 100%. Not cuz you're a bad person, but cuz you don't have any weight with them anymore - or never did. It's really sad, it hurts your soul, but unfortunately if they don't tell you to leave, they'll start using you.
It's sad, but it happens pretty often, and it's not your fault at all - life is just like that sometimes, and you gotta accept certain things and try to solve whatever problem you're facing. After many years, I finally found my first best friend, and I'm incredibly happy about it. And a best friend isn't the person YOU consider your best friend - it's the person who considers you their best friend TOO.
Unfortunately, I realized this pretty late, but after that realization, life gets so much easier and there are no problems at all when interacting. If your best friend is on their phone while you're talking, they can at least say 'I'm listening, go on,' do their stuff on the phone, then put it back in their pocket and keep listening, and ask you something about your monologue.
What I'm getting at: remember that you're not the piece of shit- you just ran into people like that, and try to beat yourself up at least 5 percent instead of 25. Everything will get better, no matter how bad it seems
I wasn't expecting anyone to comment on this, but I'm extremely glad you did. Thanks for taking the time to write this, I'm very appreciative of this <3
by HeadofComedy; ; Report