night of the orbiting hearts

Experimental writing i made because inspiration kicked in!! 

You could say I was nervous, and yeah, that was about right. 

Holding her hand, walking through the amusement park, enjoying each other's presence; the type of date that always worked for us, and something we so dearly loved. I suggested going to the zoo, being that one of her most cherished spots to visit [despite not getting the chance very often, which was part of what made it so special] but she still chose the amusement park. What a fun coincidence. The very first time we hung out together was there, that place was meaningful to both of us. And that only made things more complicated for me. Why? It's simple: I was going to propose to her. 

She told me, waaay back then, during our very first "serious talk sessions" that she would like a marriage someday; when telling me this, her eyes were looking at the distant horizon and a faint, melancholic smile appeared on her lips - it was clear she wanted it, while not really believing the day would come. From that moment on, I decided to make her dream come true.

And here was I, in what could be the most important day of my life. I did my very best to act "normal", and so tried talking "normally", only to realize that I unconsciously started my sentences in a weirdly high-pitched voice, then suddenly switching to a more casual tone. My hands were as cold as the ice cream we had. Of course that beautiful beam of light would notice my anxiety, asking me from time to time: "Are you okay?", "Are you really okay?" and, after I tripped on a tiny pebble on the ground, "Yup, you're definitely not okay." saying that just after laughing at my poor self.

Coming from the Ferris wheel, we sat on a bench. Our casual conversation took a nostalgic and kind of reflexive turn, and so we started talking about many many things. 

The day we went to a thrift store to buy the five CDs of our favorite box set, "The Aeroplane Flies High" by The Smashing Pumpkins. 

The day a drunk guy decided to throw tiny sticks at us.

The day we went to a local concert of our friend's favorite alt-rock band - and we hated it.

The day she painted strangers at the local cafe her sister worked, while I repeatedly played the same three chords on my acoustic guitar.

The day we went to our city's least-popular museum.

The day we had our first argument.

The day we "clicked".

And as she spoke, being the expressive person she always was, I realized. I realized how much I loved her, how deeply I wanted to be at her side, to orbit that star, to always be with her. Not that I didn't want those things before, but now they were even stronger in my heart - no, in the depths of my soul. When she finished speaking, I just stared, with a smile and doing my best not to cry, into her eyes. Confused, she said: "What's wrong? Did you really get drunk from just a Coke?". I couldn't help but laugh, and then I kneeled at her.

And at that moment, I wasn't the only one holding back tears.

there's probably some gramatical errors, so yeah. sorry for that tehehehe.