not looking forward to my grandparents coming

so i heard from my mom that my grandparents are coming next month and im not looking forward to that because everytime they come down here by us it's always some kinds of drama and arguments happen all the time. not to mention their homophobic and transphobic. they don't support me at all and they always try to make me feel bad for being who i am saying how if i continue this way i'll go to hell or whatever. like i don't fucking care anymore if i got to hell i go to hell. im done with this crap. 

 they also really love to point out my hair that i cut since last year summer telling me how it doesn't look good and how it would be better if i had my hair permed long and stuff and i don't want that. i don't want anyone telling me how i should have my hair or what i should wear anymore but having my mom and my grandparents around is like a living hell while still living with my mom.

my grandma likes to gossip abt every little thing and try to get me to believe in god again and im just not having it. they are all so controlling and strict. i don't feel comfortable around them at all i usually try to avoid them by going in my room but they always find a way to get me to come out by asking me to do something and it's so annoying. im always being called for everything because im the oldest and never my sister who is the youngest but she's old enough to do things too. i get so uncomfortable around them both. 

with my grandma she's always forcing me to do bible lessons so i can get baptized and trying to erase my gender identity and sexuality by making me watch these idk detransition videos?? as for my grandpa i hate when im alone with him because he always tells me how i need to go down the right path and not the wrong path which is me being queer and then he also likes to whisper things in my ears abt how im good-looking and stuff but he is always watching me whenever i walk to my room or something. it just gives me the ick.

 he also screamed and yelled at me when i came out to my family long time ago so that's great. i hate it so much. they always try to control me and shit and im getting sick and tired of them making me feel like shit all the time. my sister is a victim to this as well because when they we're up here before they always would get on my sister for other things too and shaming her which i personally didn't like and then they had the audacity to talk to me about and say that if what their doing is right or wrong like hello?? why do i have to be involved in your mess?? 

not just that but i heard that this october um this one place is gonna be giving out free gender affirming things and stuff like that which i need bc i sadly don't have the money to afford getting anything like that so this is a really good opportunity for me and many other people who need it. the problem is that since my grandparents are gonna be up here they usually check the mail for when anything comes and that's a problem. it's always so risky bc my mom always wants me to make sure that i tell her what i order first and show her what it is before ordering anything even though im a young adult. it's just so annoying how i can never have privacy or be myself anywhere. this fucking sucks. i wish my grandparents didn't have to come by.