O-O

I actually don't know how to start this but i always feel like my friends are not my friends actually and all me friends have there own best friend except for me . 

which make sense since i moved schools two years ago before that i was home schooled for my whole life. and everyone in my current friend groups knows each other for 5+ years if not more. 

i used to move every 2-4 years so i know how to make friends mybe but nothing close that lasts 

i immediately noticed that the day something really Exceptional happened to me and i wented to share it with someone but when i opened my phone i didn't see anyone that i can talk to about it.

like we never talk outside of school or when we meet and hangout sometimes and i'm always the one who is planning it which gets really tiring sometimes. 

the thinis it's not like i don't know anybody i literally talked to helf of our school.

nobody actually text me rendomly or ever if not in a gc. i literally have no private chats.

and the person im closest to is not even in my school so we only meet every months because there very busy too.

and when i finally made a really close friend they confessed to me which was fine but when i said no they stopped being my friend even though i thought we were close friends i really trusted them with a lot. i told them stuff nobody knows. which i'm mostly very secretive ig no one actually knows how many siblings i have who i grow up with i just don't share stuff like that.

i mean i'm very grateful for all of them, i just wish i had a best friend that we can do fun things together, and sometimes i think i'm the issue because my expectations are to high mybe. and then i thought i was too stupid to ugly so i got all As and change my looks but still nothing changed.

i just want know how u guys make friends that are close and last for more then two years.

(english is not my first or second language and i can't be bothered fixing my grammar and spelling^-^)