personal narratives

I mean I like them but I don’t like having to put my own internal monologues in them. Half of the time when I’m outside I’m in a state of serenity and I purposely detach from myself so that I can absorb the environment. There is genuinely nothing going on in my mind when I’m in nature, I’m just zen. I’m good at landscaping, describing my external environment and I don’t think internal thoughts are inherently bad in writing. In fact, I think they’re wonderful for character analysis. Is there such a story that is devoid of internal monologue and explains a story through different lens? What was it called, omnipresent narrator, or something, but you have to analyze the character behaviorally rather than peeping into their mind. I’d like that. That’s a challenge.

A lot of the times I like to write poignant moments in my life objectively. I’m not too fond of embellishing it with too much emotion, and perhaps that is a problem. Even if my life was menaced by hardships I don’t like viewing at it from an emotional perspective, I’m afraid that if I DO show off my hardships I’ll develop an ego. My struggles are not special or unrivaled in any way, a simple memoir will prove that. If readers cannot emotionally resonate with a work, they’ll launch themselves out of orbit. Although writing IS self expression, it doesn’t always give what the reader wants… but writing is also dependent on the reader’s viewpoint.

Just to get an A, I act melodramatic in my works. That’s also horrible. It’s not me, it’s not genuine. But what do I do? Give a thoughtless narrative? I mean, I’d be happy with it, certainly not teachers. Hmm. I still have a lot to learn anyway.