please read this and help a girl out :/

I've been doing so much better lately, mentally and physically, recovering from everything that happened to me during my teen years. But my little sister hit puberty, and on top of that she has depression, an eating disorder, and a whole lot of other things. Dare I say, everything came crashing down about one and a half to two years ago. Lord help me.

This year we went to a psychiatric clinic, and she stayed there for about a week. She has a therapist now, and it's going kind of well, I'd say. I also have to mention that she has anger issues.

My main problem the thing I feel guilty about is the fact that she is exhausting to live with. We're all religious in the family, and she's an atheist. That's not a problem by itself, but since she doesn't believe in God and she's depressed, she says she doesn't have a meaning or purpose in life. Her questions honestly drain me. At least once a week she'll ask, "Why do you believe if none of it's real?" My response is always that it's personal. Believing gives me peace. It helps me stay calm because I believe there's a life after death. Yes, it's hard to believe in miracles sometimes, but that's what faith is. I also told her that praying is kind of like meditating for me, if that makes sense. As for the purpose of life, I told her I'm still trying to figure mine out too what I like, what I want to achieve. Maybe my purpose is simply to be here. She just looks at me like I'm the biggest idiot. She goes on about how she doesn't believe in any religion, and I tell her that's okay because if you don't believe, you just don't. I can't change that. I also tell her she's only 14 years old. She doesn't have to understand everything yet. It takes time.

Then there's her eating disorder. I completely understand that it's complicated, but some of her behavior just doesn't make sense to me. She says she doesn't eat breakfast, but often the first thing she does when she wakes up is walk to the fridge and snack on leftovers. Then at dinner she barely eats anything, but after we've cleaned up, an hour later she's eating again, and then she'll have sweets afterward. Then she complains about her weight. She walks around her room to get steps in, but she still doesn't lose anything. I wonder why.

She has a calorie counting app, but she never sticks with it for more than two weeks. My mom, her therapist, and I all try to explain the concept of discipline and that her goal weight isn't even underweight or unrealistic. It's achievable if she sticks to it, but she just... doesn't. She even tells us she's fully aware of what she's doing but just won't do it. I genuinely don't understand that.

She's also very neglectful when it comes to herself. I often brush her hair and remind her to brush her teeth. I know those are common signs of depression, and I've been there myself, especially with hygiene. I really do try to help, but she doesn't want to. My mom, her therapist, and I try to explain her behavior, help her understand it, and work on changing it, but nothing ever seems to change.

Part of me thinks it's hormones and puberty, but I also think one of her friends has had a huge influence on her. They've known each other since elementary school, and that friend has changed a lot. She struggled with depression before my sister did, but their life circumstances are completely different from ours. We never pressured my sister about anything. Her grades have always been fine, but ever since she got social media, her sleep has been terrible and her mental health has gotten much worse. I also think that friend has influenced her a lot.

They're both underage. They got piercings, they talk a lot about mental disorders, and sometimes I honestly feel like my sister romanticizes them. She became addicted to Monster Energy because her friend drank it all the time. She even stole my dad's cigars and smoked them. Her friend vaped too, so I think that influenced her as well.

She also drank alcohol at her friend's confirmation party. We're Muslims, not Christians, but regardless of religion, my parents don't think a 14-year-old should be drinking beer. When she's 18, she can make her own choices, but not at 14. When we tell her that drinking just to fit in with her friends isn't okay, or that we don't want her wearing crop tops or very short shorts because there are a lot of creeps out there, she says we're controlling.

It's honestly exhausting. I don't even know if we're handling things the wrong way anymore. My mom is a children's educator, and even she believes social media which my sister thankfully no longer has had a huge negative effect on both her and that friend. But if we told her she couldn't see that friend anymore, I honestly think she'd completely lose it and make life miserable for all of us.

I need an outside opinion. Would it be okay if I told her that, for my own mental health, I don't want to discuss her mental health problems with her anymore? Whenever she starts talking about them, I end up feeling emotionally drained, exhausted, and in a bad mood. I care about her and I want her to get better, but I don't think I can keep being the person she unloads everything onto.