ᰔ Rotten Strawberries Covered in Chocolate Fudge ᰔ

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Do we live in a world where kindness has become so unfamiliar that people mistake it for other emotions? Why can a simple compliment become a confession of feelings that were never there to begin with? Must there ALWAYS be a double meaning?

Why is it that when I tell someone their outfit looks nice, they assume I must have ulterior motives? Can’t I just think something about you is nice without wanting something in return? Can't I just wish to brighten your day and comment on something I simply like?

Sometimes, I check up on someone because I care. Sometimes, I offer compliments because I mean them and nothing more. Sometimes, I help strangers because I see them struggling and have the opportunity to make things a little easier. There are no confessions or hidden intentions. Sometimes, I’m simply being nice.

And yet, people sometimes confess feelings to me after only weeks of talking.

I don’t understand how people can fall so quickly. How can a few kind words become a confession, or a week of knowing someone become a declaration of love? I don’t mean to judge anyone for it, but how can you be so certain of someone you’ve barely begun to know? There’s still so much to learn about a person, even when those first few conversations feel out of this world.

Being seen is not the same as being loved.

I feel guilty even complaining about it. How strange it sounds to say that being wanted like that can feel lonely, when all you want is something as simple as a friend. Someone to laugh with, share interests with, and talk about the most ridiculous things with.

Nothing less and nothing more.

Is there such a thing as being too kind for other reasons? Not because kindness itself is a flaw, but because of the people who receive it. The ones who belittle everything you do, who seem to find joy in making others miserable?

I’ve been told time and time again that I’m too nice. “Oh, Vanity, you’re too sweet!” Which should be a compliment. Until it’s not. Suddenly, I’m told I need to stand up for myself, stop being so forgiving, and stop giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I’m sorry I’m just trying to help and be understanding?

Maybe the problem isn’t kindness itself, but the idea that being kind means being endlessly available. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean allowing them to hurt you again, and understanding someone doesn’t mean accepting everything they do. I can care about someone and still say no. I can understand someone and still decide I need distance from them.

So why should I become colder just to survive in this twisted world? I don’t want to look at every person I meet and wonder what they want from me. I don’t want to turn every compliment into a calculation or every act of kindness into a transaction.

And this brings me to something else I’ve never quite understood...

Why does it sometimes feel as though people would rather expect the worst than leave room for something hopeful?

I know there are reasons people become the way they are, and I can’t fully judge them because I have never walked in their shoes. I genuinely wish I could understand what goes on in somebody’s head sometimes. Does anyone else question these things as much as I do?

It feels as though negativity has become the easier thing to reach for. As though happiness must be an act, or anyone who sees the good in things must be foolish or pretending. Why is it so difficult to look for the good without immediately searching for the bad?

Maybe I’m naïve because I’m still a kid, or maybe I’m simply expecting too much. But I have never understood the appeal of making the world uglier when you could make it better. I understand having a bad day, struggling, and seeing the worst in things. But why should those feelings determine how we treat everyone around us? You shouldn’t treat others badly just because YOU had a bad day. That’s just a lame excuse.

People can change. Not overnight, not because of some GRAND IDEA, but because they decide to try. You can wake up one morning and decide to be gentler with your words, more patient, and more willing to recognize when you’ve hurt someone. It will ALWAYS be hard at first, but isn’t that true of anything worth learning?

And then there are sayings along the lines of, “Expect nothing, and you won’t be disappointed.”

But what a lonely way to live.

If we expect nothing, do we stop hoping? If we stop hoping, do we stop trying? I know thinking positively doesn’t mean everything will turn out well. TRUST ME, I HAVE EXPERIENCE. But there’s a difference between acknowledging that things can go wrong and living as though they inevitably will.

I don’t want to spend my life expecting the worst from everyone. I don’t want to assume that every kind gesture has a hidden meaning or that every person I meet will eventually disappoint me. Maybe I’m too hopeful sometimes, but I’d rather leave room for good things to happen than convince myself they never will.

Sigh.

I see people laughing at each other instead of helping each other. I see kindness treated as something embarrassing, as though caring about another person is somehow ridiculous.

Why?

If I see somebody in the hallway drop their things, why should I need to know them before I help? Why should their reputation or other people’s opinions determine whether I treat them with BASIC DECENCY? And why should the way other people perceive someone determine whether helping them makes ME a good or bad person? If my intentions are simply to help, why should it matter who they are? Especially if I don’t know them?

You’re a stranger to SO many people, so who even cares at the end of the day? Maybe our actions seem small in a world so big, but helping one person might make their day a little easier. Isn’t that enough? Maybe that’s why some people don’t bother, because the world feels so big that they think their actions don’t matter.

This is something I have to question in myself, too. I feel hypocritical. I’ve blocked people I never really gave a chance simply because they were friends with someone who hurt me. I understand why I did it, but I also recognize how easily we judge someone based on the people around them instead of who they actually are. So I see both sides.

Of course, this doesn’t mean I owe everyone my trust or friendship. I can protect myself without assuming I know everything about someone I’ve never spoken to, or that one thing they do defines them.

A simple act of kindness can be given to practically anyone, though. That doesn’t mean I have to be friends with everyone, trust everyone, or let everyone into my life. It just means I can choose to treat someone with basic decency without needing to know their entire story first.

And there’s another thing I don’t understand: the way some people treat the very friends they claim to care about.

I’ve never understood friendships built on constant judging and joking, where somebody will ALWAYS be the punchline. I understand teasing. I do it myself, and people do it to me. There’s a kind of laughter that comes from knowing someone well enough to joke with them.

But there’s a difference between laughing WITH someone and laughing AT someone.

And maybe this is something I take a little more personally than I let on to the people I talk to and know. It’s difficult to talk about kindness without thinking about the times I’ve experienced the opposite myself. I’m dealing with that right now, actually, which makes writing about this feel a little more personal than I originally intended when I started writing this a few weeks back.

It’s strange how you’re sometimes expected to laugh along, even when someone’s words genuinely hurt your feelings. You’re expected to act like you don’t care about something when it truly does matter to you. And I don’t think being hurt by someone’s words makes you weak, oversensitive, or incapable of taking a joke. I know I’m strong, and I know everybody is strong in their own ways. You can be strong and still have moments of weakness.

How can you call someone your friend if they repeatedly make you feel terrible about yourself, though? How can you claim to care about someone and then dismiss their feelings when they tell you you’ve hurt them? As though you’re not responsible for your actions, and they’re simply too sensitive?

A friendship shouldn’t require you to make yourself smaller to keep someone else comfortable. You should be able to laugh, be silly, make mistakes, and exist without wondering when the next insult will arrive disguised as affection. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells or constantly filter yourself around someone you call a friend.

Of course, we’re all capable of making mistakes, and sometimes we hurt people without meaning to. But there’s a difference between making a mistake, taking responsibility, and repeatedly hurting someone who has already told you how they feel. And there is a big line between respecting them and disregarding them. Making excuses for yourself doesn’t change ANYTHING.

Simply writing this today feels a little strange, because we actually had an assembly about bullying at school (ignoring the fact it was supposed to be about drugs). The superintendent came down to talk about the legal side of things, too. Cyberbullying can have serious consequences, and the things we say to people can affect them more than we realize. It’s worth taking a moment to think before speaking or posting something hurtful. You never know what someone else is going through, and choosing kindness can make a bigger difference than you think.

I think that’s worth remembering, especially when people try to excuse their behavior as “just a joke.” Law doesn’t care what you think or what you say. If it was seen as harmful, it will be taken as harmful. Make your meanings clear and don’t say something you can’t take back no matter how much you want to say it.

So.

Maybe that’s what bothers me most about all of this. Not simply that people misunderstand me, or that some people choose to be unkind. It’s that kindness, something so simple, can become so complicated.

A compliment CAN become a confession. Concern CAN become an obligation. A friendship CAN become an expectation. A joke CAN become an excuse to hurt someone. There are so many possibilities that it honestly makes my head spin. Why must I be an expert on understanding all these things?

Why must there be so many hidden meanings attached to kindness? It can be used dishonestly, to manipulate someone or hurt them, but that doesn’t mean it’s intended to be used that way. Does the same apply to things like anger and sadness? Can negative stigmas be used for a good cause? Maybe I need to turn my perspective upside down.

So, I’m upside down on the couch as I finish writing this !! 

Maybe that’s the hardest part of all of this: accepting that I can’t control how everyone perceives me. I can be as honest as possible, explain my intentions, and try my best to be considerate, but someone might still misunderstand me. I can’t make everyone see things the way I do, and I can’t always prevent someone from getting the wrong idea.

Maybe I will be misunderstood. Maybe someone will mistake my kindness for something it isn’t. Maybe I’ll give someone the benefit of the doubt only to discover they never intended to give me the same courtesy. It’s such a pain sometimes, and I can see why others give up. Taking the negative route appears to be much easier.

But there truly is beauty in being kind in a world gone so cruel.

There’s something beautiful about helping someone who cannot repay you, complimenting someone who may never compliment you back, and caring about people without expecting anything in return. There’s something beautiful about brightening someone’s day simply because you can, even if you get nothing in return.

I can have boundaries without building walls around everything good in me. I can recognize cruelty without deciding that everyone is cruel. I can accept that the world is imperfect without abandoning the hope that it can be better.

I don’t think the world needs more people who expect the worst from one another. We have plenty of that. I think it needs more people willing to consider perspectives beyond their own, to be kind, and to try to understand one another.

I truly hope I never become so afraid of being misunderstood that I forget how to make someone feel understood. I want to share my experiences and let people see who I really am. I hope I never feel like I have to hide my true self. Maybe I’m too honest in that aspect, putting my life out there, which I can be sometimes.

I just wish that more people got me for me. The good and the bad. The negative and the positive. It can be hard sometimes, but you stick with those you care about through those conflicting moments. Isn’t that truly what friends are for? Family? The people you genuinely care about?

And I hope we remember that we don’t need to love everyone to treat them with love, that we don’t need to know someone’s story to offer them compassion, and that we don’t need to expect something in return to give something good.

Maybe there is such a thing as being too nice.

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 ♡ A LITTLE NOTE !! ♡

OKAY HIIII !! THANK YOU SO MUCH if you actually read all of that LOL !! I SWEAR I’M NOT ALWAYS THIS SERIOUS !! If you know me, you know I’m a yapper and usually very upbeat. I just wanted to take a spin on something that’s been on my mind for a while and is really important to me right now !!

I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts, even if you disagree with me on anything !! I love hearing different perspectives and having conversations about things like this because DUHHH it’s on my mind like 24/7 and I’m curious about how others perceive things !!

Truly hope whoever reads this has an amazing day !! Stay sweet, be kind, and remember that you are loved in one way or another !! <3