Itsuki 【樹】's profile picture

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Category: Literature

This poem contest thing?

Ok, so like, there is a bulletin on Spacehey for a contest and I entered it ! <3


Here is the original text that your suppose to change in your own style and such:

Variations on a Renaissance Theme

Love is like the Evening Star,

sailing through the black sky.

Close the doors with the latches! 

Extinguish all the candles in the house

and fortify your bodies,

You whose hearts have turned to stone!

Love is like a beautiful ship

that has lost its captain,

the sailors' hands are shaking

and they are afraid of what the morning will bring.

Love is like the pain of awakening

and the hot hands of the stars

that through the window into the prison

are showering you with flowers from their honeymoon, 

which through the window into the prison

are showering you with flowers from their honeymoon.

Love is like the Evening Star,

sailing through the black sky.

Our life burns like a candle

and the dead cannot love.

Our life burns like a candle

and the dead cannot love!


Here is like my totally awesome modern version:

Like, Love is totally just like the Evening Star, all dramatic, I'm sure!

Sailing through this sky that is like all Black, which goes with everything, you know?

Lock those doors and latches to the max, fer ensure!

Oh my god, Like extinguish the candles, fire hazard, and like fortify, no wait twenty-fy your bodies, like moisturize, preserve it in the snow!

Your hearts are stoned, and like believe me, not in the blitzed kind of way!

Love is like a Disney cruise, you know with like Mickey Mouse!

but like they lost Minnie, oh my god, in a cannibalistic kind of way,

Even, like, the sailors hands are shaking, like can't even open a hookers blouse!

No way! They are like so afraid of what the morning will reveal!

Love is like accepting that those cute shoes just wont fit,

and with the devil you really like just wanna make a deal!

Ok, so there is like a prison, total bummer fer sure! And like through that window, in a fit

They are like showering you with like their honeymoon flowers! Rude!

So dramatic, we gotta say it again; Through that window in a hissy-fit.

Like those damn honeymoon flowers again, like totally crude, totally rude!

Like, Love is totally just like the Evening Star, repeat, I'm sure!

Sailing through this sky that is like all Black, I'm not on crack, you know?

Ok, so like picture this! Life is like this candle all burning, right?

and as jealous as they are, like the dead can't love! Like, Zombies are like groudy to the max!

So like Life burns, like a candle with light!

and like the dead can't love and are never charged with tax!

The End :-)


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This is actually so cool. I really like how you took the original poem and completely transformed it into your own style while still keeping the overall structure. It made me laugh a few times, especially with all the "like" and the over-the-top Valley Girl energy. Good luck in the contest, I think you did a really creative job!