Sam Thul

Hi there, I’m Sam — a 45-year-old dude from central Pennsylvania. I enjoy the finer things in life: tattoos, dry red wine, Amiga computers, 80s movies, and Dungeons & Dragons. I have an amazing girlfriend, three cats, and a betta fish. I had a fourth cat, but sadly, she passed away in 2025. By day, I’m a cybersecurity engineer, protecting my assets from phishing scams and ransomware attacks. By night, I’m a little bit of everything else.

I’ve been a musician for as long as I could read: singing in the choir as a young boy, playing guitar in the choir as a slightly older boy, then getting kicked out of the choir for playing Stairway to Heaven during the priest’s monologues as an even older boy. I’ve been in a variety of musical projects too, mostly cover bands: Faith Until Falling, Oaks & The Hardwoods, Avenging Autumn, 13th Coil, Alien String Symphony, and even a brief stint as the singer for Gas Station Disco. My band days are mostly behind me now, but I still dabble in the occasional solo acoustic show. If I’m playing in your area, come say hello. Heckle me. Whatever.

I’ve also made a few computer games, including the Uninvited-inspired Cease to Breathe, which you can find on Steam and itch.io. Most people seem to enjoy it, except for one guy who called it a "cabinet-opening simulator" or some such shit. Fuck that guy anyway.

I dabble in writing, too. I haven’t produced anything amazing, mind you, but there’s always a chance these fingers might still write something worthy of people’s adoring affections one day. So yeah, look forward to that.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m just your average, everyday, retro-obsessed nerd who thinks most people nowadays are either assholes or morons. It’s okay. I’m an asshole too.

And to anyone who thinks it’s cool to ride their absurdly expensive bicycle down the middle of a country road while wearing equally expensive bicycle leotards, here’s a big "fuck you" to you, too. Yeah, I know, not exactly kind of me, but I’ve almost killed about a dozen of you around blind turns, and I really don’t want your deaths on my conscience, you know? There are plenty of places to ride your bikes that are not in traffic.

Alright then. Talk to you soon. Enjoy the website.

Peace out, fuckers!

- Sam