Comments

3 weeks ago (edited) Report 👍 1

Men ☕️

Fr tho at this point every feminine person should be carrying a gun. They have them, so we should have them. It’s not an ideal world. We’ve gotta take non-ideal steps to keep ourselves safe. 

3 weeks ago (edited) Report 👍 1

It's absolutely disgusting and inexcusable that that even occurred and ofc as a woman it's sad that you can't even go anywhere without a fear of assault. I'm sorry that that happened to you and I want to point out how brave and strong you are. Thank you for sharing and I am glad that you made it home safely.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 2

Quite sorry to hear that and I'm a man and I definitely understand you on your situation.

"by this point, i bet some people would hear this and be like "well.. he didn't do anything wrong."....

Nobody on their right mind would say that given your story.

"i hate that there are people who would counter this with that or 'well you were wearing shorts.. maybe you shouldn't go out so early in the morning.. maybe you shouldn't go the short way.. maybe you should have SMILED' "

Neither any of this would be a reason for a guy to have dirty stare at her at first then absolutely stalk her to her house.

If I were there instead of these assumingly sketchy guys I wouldn't do any of that.... Maybe I'd be talking to you while having some coffee but I'd leave you alone afterwards and I wouldn't dirty stare at you anyway.

Again I feel sorry for you, and I hope whoever followed you didn't actually found you where you live and maybe next time never go back to that coffee shop again and maybe go to a different café where these sketchy guys aren't hanging out if there's one nearby.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

Im sorry you had to deal with this! And I really am over how common it is. I am glad that you are safe. And it is endlessly exhausting to be aware of how unsafe just being is due to cis men and violent misogyny that has been brainwashed into the populace. 

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍

Ugh, I relate to this so bad. Everywhere I go, women are always drooling and trying to follow me home.

It seems that they are magnetically drawn to my luscious locks that resemble a proud lions mane, my fierce dragon-like eyes, broad shoulders, and chiseled jawline. It is so irritating how every day women just gawk at me and try to get my phone number. I feel so disrespected, like can't these girls respect me for who I am and let me get my damn coffee and donut?

One time I was just going out to check my mailbox and as soon as I opened my front door I was confronted with swarms of women. They were yelling things like "HAVE MY BABY" and "MARRY ME". It was so demeaning that these women would see me only as a mating partner and prospective leader of the house.

It's not my fault that I was born six foot tall, with a deep voice, and perfectly sculpted calf muscles. So women really ought to control themselves and behave when there are beautiful men around.

I feel for you, and hope that your next trip to the cafe is a lot more respectful and that you aren't harassed like I am.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

I'm so sorry that happened to you! It's so tiring for fem presenting/bodied people to just exist and some just want us to just "deal with it" since that's just "how they are" but at the same time if you say "men bad" then they say "not all men" which just leaves us feeling crazy and even more not listened to. I hope you feel better soon and that he feel like he has a popcorn kernel in the back of his throat for all his chud life.  

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

I am so sorry you had to go through that. All you wanted was a fucking coffee and a donut. This is not fair and you are allowed to be angry, hell I am angry for you. I've had a similar situation happen to me in the past so I completely sympathize with you. Men are gross. I hope your coffee and donut were the bomb and I hope he gets kicked in the balls.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 2

I am so sorry that this happened to you.

Try carrying an air horn. I keep one in my bag just for this reason. And I have actually used it. Scared the crap out of the guy and made people stop to see what was going on. A cop happened to hear it and came over to make sure things were OK. I told him what happened and the cop gave the guy a warning. Don't know if that stopped the guy from harassing others, but it certainly stopped him from harassing me.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

Just a few tips for creeps like these bitches (It's not your fault, but I do want you to be ready because men suck ass)
1: Keys between the fingers aren't that intimidating because you already have to be close for that to work. A more long-distance item is more likely to get them to back off, like a long umbrella or a gun.
2: Creepy men usually look for something to hold onto, like long hair. If it's possible and won't ruin your sense of identity, I recommend cutting your hair short.
3: I didn't read this anywhere, but it's what I usually do. If somebody's being weird to me, I just act like I'm deranged or unstable. This can range from anything to speaking to empty air like you're having a conversation or making weird animalistic noises at them.
4: Letting them know that you are aware of them. This is more of a psychological method I think, bc just asking them some boring bullshit like "wow crazy weather right" lets them know that you are aware of their presence. Maybe it also communicates some weird other neurotypical subtext message, I don't know.

Of course I'm not saying any of this shit is your fault, I'm not trying to imply that at all, and all the above SHOULDN'T be necessary. However, because the world is this way, I find it important to spread information about ways to get these creeps off your ass.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 2

-> "by this point, i bet some people would hear this and be like "well.. he didn't do anything wrong.""

absolutely not. well, not me at least, nor my fellow commenters. i'm glad you walked out the far door because if those three guys were together and one of them already started being creepy and suspicious, i get a very uncomfortable feeling that for whatever reason, they may have hoped you'd go out the door you entered through, that they were sitting outside of.

there is no reason for him to have followed you like that, to have slowed down once he was behind you, to sit down and wait for you to continue on your way home for him to then get up and continue. innocent, nondangerous people do not want to follow strangers home from coffee shops.

i know it's been baked into your DNA to feel that you have to defend your choice to wear shorts, to go out alone, to go out at night as a femme person. i am so, so sorry that you were made to feel scared just trying to buy some coffee and donuts.

reading this was genuinely really scary and uncomfortable. we have bred a species of man that doesn't regard women as humans because these men do not have humanity, decency, empathy, compassion, respect, self-control, boundaries or anything other than a selfish sense of ownership and possession over any and every girl and woman and femme person they happen across.

i hope you're doing okay and i hope the coffee and donuts were tasty and maybe brought you even a small sense of comfort. i wouldn't blame you for installing a couple CCTV cameras around the perimeter of your home.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

I’m really sorry this happened to you. Honestly, I can understand why you’re angry, it’s exhausting having to constantly think about safety in situations where you should just be able to exist and get a coffee. The fact that you had to turn off your music, hold your keys like a weapon, plan escape routes, and change your route home is such a stressful thing to go through.

And you’re right, people shouldn’t be focusing on what you were wearing or what time you went out. Wearing shorts in hot weather and wanting to walk for coffee is completely normal. The responsibility is on the person making someone feel unsafe, not on the person trying to live their life.

I hope you’re able to take care of yourself after such a scary experience. Also, I’m glad you trusted your instincts and made choices that helped you feel safer. I hope your next coffee run is just a coffee run, no unwanted side quests.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

sorry you had to go through that :( god forbid someone wants a treat!! I had many cases of being followed and or stalked, idk why people cant just stop, think and be a decent human being with the understanding of boundaries. 

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 2

Nah Im not giving this guy the benefit of the doubt, that's fucking weird and I would've been pissed too :l NO ONE wants to be watched or followed. And its creeps like this why a lot of us can't just go out when we want. 

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

Sorry about that, man. Sorry there were some weirdos. You were brave, dude. And not only that, you got to get some coffee and a donut. That sounds so cool. I’m sorry you had to deal with those creeps, though. It’s lame. You’re just trying to get your stuff and make it home, and suddenly there are creepy people bothering you. I’m a man, so I usually don’t have to deal with people staring at me like that. But you never know, sometimes they do attack. And all your, all your senses are geared up, and all you were trying to do was get the taste of coffee and chill with your morning vibes. It's so rude.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

Super scary :(  because if he were a normal human, he'd try talking to you at the public place instead of trying to find where you live. 

That is SUPER scary, I don't see anyone playing devil's advocate for that. All we can do is *hope* that he's just awkward at getting to know people? It's 100% certain that his motivation was feeling horny towards you - so, knowing that, *hopefully* he's actually a kind, wonderful person who just wanted another chance to chat with you, in hopes of becoming friends or something - but he approached it SUPER incorrectly and honestly that's probably illegal to hunt someone like that. Therefore, when I try to imagine what I would do next if I were in your shoes... It seems like there are virtually no options :( except, like, moving away somewhere or, like, never go outside unaccompanied :( 

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 1

The "What were you wearing?" line of questioning after telling someone how you were harrased is always disgusting, and is always excusitory of perpetrators. The art exhibit of the same name is proof as much that it's never the fault of the woman's clothing, the issue is always inside the person staring. It's a horrible thing that your fears are 100% reasonable, and still some people would be more quick to come to the man's defence in the story. I'm never upset when a woman tells me she hates men, because every woman I know has a story. I'm sorry this happened to you.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 3

Reading this truly made me feel angry too. With bad intentions or not, lingering around and following a woman still screams odd behavior. Because why would you even do that, even to a familiar face you've seen in the cafe? I firmly believe any man who acts like showing skin is an invitation for them to harass women needs to get their nuts kicked. Overall, still glad you're safe and got your coffee and donut despite the awful experience.

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 3

that such a scary and horrible experience im so sorry you went through that :( its so disgusting he thought he had to right to do that

1 month ago (edited) Report 👍 2

ew men are weirdd